Things I have found out about ebay this week

I’m having a bit of a clear out of stuff which is really gnarly to fondle occasionally, but very rarely gets listened to. And I have discovered that:

1) If you’re selling stuff you get stats on how many people are watching your items.
2) My obsession with watching items I am selling far outweighs my obsession with watching items I am bidding on.
3) There is no problem posting up pictures of naked Japanese women who are trussed up like turkeys
4) …but Ebay doesn’t like the word “fuck”:

Hello John-Eden,

Thank you for writing to eBay. I am sorry to learn that you are facing problems in searching the item number 4773190712.

I reviewed our records and found that the listing for the item number 4773190712 contains questionable word (f***). Our system will not index items for search that have inappropriate language in them. These words in your auction prevent this indexing. Unfortunately, this problem comes up occasionally with albums and CDs.

In this case, I would suggest you to end the listing early for your item and then relist it with the corrections and without that word.

Also note that using asterisks or other symbols and characters to disguise the word will not work. The system will recognise the attempt, and if the symbols are in the title, they will break the indexing attempt anyway.


  1. yeah i’ve had that problem too – generally I use the word “truck” or “trunk” but occasionally I’ve used “embroidery”, to try and reach a broader audience…….

    they didn’t like me trying to sell the rather wonderful “Deadly weapons” starring Chesty Morgan – it is on their list of total no-nos – either that or it is just plain quality control as it is such a terrible film.

    They weren’t impressed with me sending them my critique of Ms. Morgan’s revenge arguing for radical feminist re-interpretation of the masterpiece concerned. Bah – some people just don’t understand great art….

  2. ah i gave it away – like chesty i like to spread the love / the terror.
    but believe me – it really is quite terrible. worth watching once, and then you will never quite be able to forget it……

  3. (blushing) Er, sorry, John….

    Ah, shame it’s gone…I have fond mammaries….sorry, memories of watching it at one of Dom Zeros’ Early-Eighties Video-Nasty Parties in Snowdon Heights, Chard.

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